I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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