I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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