At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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