you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize