he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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