I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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