if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
