i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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