Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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