Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
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