Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
