2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
