your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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