You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
