Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
