So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize