I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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