The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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