the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
