Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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