Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
