Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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