is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
