dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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