I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
