We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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