Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
