He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize