You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
