My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
