You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
