You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i drank out of a bidet.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
