In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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