I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
