Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
