So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize