My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
