Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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