Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
