Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
