Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
ttyl tear gas
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
