he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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