I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
