Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i think i just lost a toe
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
