Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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