btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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