nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
