Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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