16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Congratulations! We have a period
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
