i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
