I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Found the puke drawer
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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