i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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