You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize