She is in my trunk
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
