Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
