How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Found the puke drawer
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He better not be in your backpack
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
