is your mom at the bar?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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