I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
