I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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