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We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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