Don't you send me to vm
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
