A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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