you traded sex for a burrito?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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