They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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