is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
