My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
