I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
