tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
