Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
