so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
