Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
