Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
