I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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