can we get nightvision for the apartment?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
