Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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