marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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